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FROZEN IN FEAR & BREAKING THE ICE

I am not afraid; not any more. I am not afraid of what others may think of me. I am not afraid of the guilt and shame of being molested and raped by my paternal grandfather. I am not afraid of the backlash that will come from my extended family; especially because for 28 years I have been on my healing journey alone with NO good support. I am not afraid that this may very well destroy my extended family; but in saving my family’s good reputation, I am destroying myself. I am not afraid to be strong, courageous or confident beyond measure. I am not afraid to let people get close to me or to be transparent; allowing all to see the good, the bad and the ugly. I am not afraid to be me.

I’ve been on a journey, a very long journey of self discovery; one that seems like it will never end. Though I may not see an end in sight, I can start over. I was frozen, frozen in fear. Locked away in my own self imposed prison. For 28 years the key to the locked prison door hung around my neck, available at all times; yet only now am I able to release myself. For it has taken me this long to truly know myself. Now that I know myself, I love myself. I love myself enough to tell the TRUTH.

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One thought on “FROZEN IN FEAR & BREAKING THE ICE

  1. georgett says:

    I feel so sorry for that little girl. You are very brave because, we as proud Jamaican tend to push everything under the rug, and ask each other the questions; Why does she act like that? Without asking that little girl what is really wrong.

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